15
Ways to Cheer Up Your Day
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At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
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Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
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Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
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Put your waste paper basket on your desk and label it "IN".
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Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
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In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors". Do
this even for the utility bills.
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Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
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Dont use any punctuation
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Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
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Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds
all day.
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Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
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Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name.
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When the money comes out of the ATM, scream: I won! I won!"
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When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling
"run for your lives! They're loose".
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Tell your kids over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have
to let one of you go."
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