Connections to Health - Can't Means Won't

THE ISHTA HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTRE

CONNECTIONS to HEALTH

Changing two letters in your vocabulary can change your life.

Recently we were driving down the M6 and M5 and after an interaction will our son Nathan I realised I had turned into my parents when I said "Can't means won't"

Sue was driving and I gently spaced out to the hum of the wheels on the road. I started thinking what if...?

What if Can't really does mean Won't?
The concept was simple, and only involved changing two letters in my vocabulary. But actually this was more difficult than I imagined and led me to discover all kinds of things that I was hiding from my self.
What I discovered when I changed this word was that I gained 100% control over my life. The other fun thing that I found is that by being keenly aware of how others use this word, you can instantly read through their own doubts and insecurities about themselves and immediately realise where their priorities lie.
Make the change
I'm telling you, this sounds so simple and perhaps inconsequential until you actually try it yourself. Look at the difference in these two sentences:
"I can't get enough patients to fill my diary."
"I won't get enough patients to fill my diary."
The second statement begs the question - Well Why Not? Why won't you get enough patients to fill your diary? Not motivated enough? Not willing to do what it takes to promote your practice? Don't you believe you can really be successful? Plenty of people CAN fill their diary, so it's not a REAL can't.
Some other things I used to tell myself were:

I can't buy that car
I can't take a holiday
I can't find a mentor
I can't find out what it takes to be rich
You may find that you can in fact "buy that car" but may "choose not to" buy that car. This is much more empowering than you going around thinking that you CAN'T buy that car.
Successful People
I've studied this phenomenon and I've found that the more successful a person is, the less often they say the word can't. Unsuccessful people use the word can't constantly.
The measure I used to determine if something is really a "can't" is this. If my family were being held hostage and the only way I could set them free was by doing this action, could I do it?
99.9% of the time, I could.
X-Ray Vision into the Psyche of Others
The most exciting thing about being aware of can't and won't is that most people don't know about it. Because of this, you can see right through the lies they tell themselves and you.
Warning - you may not want to point this out - I've tried it. People tend to get very defensive. Can't means won't; it takes us back to being told off as a child.
When the boss or your client tells you that they can't pay you more, what they are saying is that they won't pay you more. It's kind of irritating when you think of it that way?
If they really valued what you were doing enough, they could figure out a way to pay you more. If they don't value what you are providing enough, you need to ask yourself why.
Try It
I really, really hope that you try this. Start being highly aware of when you or other's use the word "can't." Then repeat the sentence in your mind by replacing the word "can't" with the word "won't" and analyze this sentence.
Have fun with this!
What I have found is that using the word can't puts me into victim mode, I've lost my power; whereas won't put me into victor mode, I've regained control of my life.

See how you get on with this and let me know.